Bent and Beat

Sure, i had a few cans at Ander's place and smoked a joint on the way home that night. But i'm always like that. But i drove from his place back to my ranch a lot. Dark or not, and it was dark as sin that night. Once you get past Government camp there is nothing much just forest. Maybe i was a bit jumpy, high and listening to that damn am radio show where people call in about ghosts and UFOs and shit like that.

So, i saw a Bigfoot. Sasquatch, whatever the hell you want to call it. He leaned there, hunched like a monkey at the side of the road. And i pissed my pants, nearly slid off of the road and then hammered it the hell out of there.

After a couple of miles, i thought better, turned around and headed back I stopped half a a mile back and gathered my nerve and my shit then set out on foot. I was most worried he would smell my pissy pants and the weed on my jacket so i tried to get downwind. And there he was, standing at the side of the road still, a few smaller shadows around him. Females i thought. There's a whole goddamn nest of them down here! OK i was pretty drunk and very high, but still not out of my mind or i never would have hit that shot in the dark from that distance, right in the back of his primate head. The females shrieked and I rushed to claim my trophy, my proof to the world, my key to fame and fortune.

After the accident, the cops told me he was some sort of special effects designer and he and his friends put a lot of time into their hobby, getting drunker than me and camping on the edge of the highway, filming themselves scaring the piss out of working men just trying to make it home at night .But in my headlights, rolling by in the dark, hardly any moon that night, that fucking costume looked real as hell to me.