Bent and Beat

she asked why?
and what do i say, what answer can i have that she could understand and that would justify the guilt?
so many little words that mean nothing strung together in response
someday, i promise to explain
someday has probably come and gone and i have nothing better
and for us, tomorrow might as well be yesterday
for all of the closer it brings her to me
which brings us to where?
a place we have never been i say
which is no answer
but mostly it is there
in that is is not here
she tries not to cry and asks when?
we know the answer is now
a now that has come and gone and a now that has yet to be
but a now that never was then
and we are both crying
she comes back to why
children ask circular questions and adults respond with circular logic
she seeks to understand and i seek to evade

on the telephone, her voice sounds older and stronger
but it's a facade she and time put on for my benefit
and i wonder if she can her in my voice
how old and weak i feel?